Major Who?
by kira66
Summary: A visit by a General turns the lives of several of our MASH personal upside down, Hawkeye more so than the others
1. Chapter 1

Nothing could ruin the perfect morning or so thought the wary young surgeon who happened to be a Captain at the 4077th MASH unit in Korea. This thought was soon forgotten as a cloud of dust appeared on the road just outside of the compound. This cloud of dust soon began to settle as a jeep came to a stop in front of the lounging Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce. "What can we do you for? Our rates are decent but the food isn't anything to brag about." Hawkeye shielded his eyes from the blaring hot sun. It was only April and the weather was already unbearable.

The man, more like boy, from within the jeep began to speak. "Major Hawkeye Sir?" His accent was clearly Korean. "General Hopkins is due to arrive here at 13 hundred hours, Sir. He requested that I see to his arrangements before he comes." With a loud creak and a shuffle of feet the young man stood at full attention in front of the open mouthed Pierce.

"What are you doing?" Hawkeye was on his feet in a jiffy, tying his open robe around his waist. "I thought I told you not to do that around me?" He gave several passing nurses a cocky smile as he grabbed hold of the boys arm and yanked it down out of the salute that it previously held. "Listen, Chow Zein, wait a minute. Did you just say that General Hopkins, General Martin Hopkins is coming here?"Hawkeye could feel the headache that was coming with the Generals arrival.

"Yes Sir. General Hopkins wishes to see his favorite doctor again and to make sure that the army is treating his well. Is that bad, Major Sir?" Chow Zein, personal assistant to the General, asked.

"Listen kid. I'm just a lowly Captain who doesn't even want to be here so please don't say that word around me. Isn't there anyway of changing the Generals mind?" Hawkeye was worried. No one in camp, not even Henry or Trapper, knew about his promotion that happened more than 6 months ago during a stay in Seoul.

"No Sir. When his mind is made up...There is no stopping him. Why worry? You saved his life, you should feel honored that he remembers you." Chow stated sincerely.

Hawkeye sighed and shook his head. "Ya. Your right Chow. Go do whatever you need to do and I'll let Henry know that the General is coming."

"Sir? Where is your gold shinny leaf?" Chow pointed to his own Army issue fatigues then to Hawkeyes.

"I left it in my other pants. Now get a move on. I know how the General dislikes orders being disobeyed." Hawkeye watched as Chow took off to do his duty, not wanting to make the General angry. "Oh boy. It started out to be such a fine day too." Pierce mumbled as he entered the swamp and headed straight for his footlocker which was buried under several months of nuddy magazines. After pushing the Pierce collection to the floor, he begins to rummage around inside. The object of his search was a small brown envelope which held several gold oak leaves along with his promotion papers.

With a sarcastic whoop, he pulls the envelope out from under several new uniforms. One of which was a dress uniform of regular army and the other two were just everyday fatigues. Also contained within the foot locker was a hard hat with the gold oak leaf set in the front and a regular issue hat, also with the gold oak leaf on the front. There was also a set of new dog tags within the envelope. Dog tags which marked Benjamin Franklin Pierce as a doctor and a Major.

These were all the things that he swore no one at the 4077th would ever see. But now he might have to let them see. No matter how stupid some of the people looked, there will be questions asked as to why the General was visiting a mere Captain and a brass hating one at that. That could possible be explained, Hawkeye was used to making up stories and excuses. That's how he kept himself sane and out of the stockade over the months as the war waged on. But what couldn't be explained would be when the General started to ask questions about Major Pierce and that's when all hell would break lose. He didn't want Henry or anyone else to get into trouble.

With a heavy heart he opened the envelope and let the leaves fall out into his hand. "So much for civilian soldier." He grumbled as he reached up and attached the gold oak leaves to his collar. He no longer had his Captain bars. They had been lost a few moments after he stepped foot on Korean soil. "How am I going to pull this off?" He placed his hands on his hips after having removed his robe which was covering his old fatigues. "I better dress for the occasion. Wouldn't want to disappoint the General. Should I go with a nice sky blue or maybe a buttercup yellow." He looked into his footlocker once again. "I think olive green would do nicely. But since I already appear to be dressed..."

He smirked and pulled out a pair of brand new boots and not the cheap kind either. "At least my feet will be warm. A hundred and ten degrees in the shade is rather brisk to me." He raised each leg and kicked the thin sandals off his feet, making them fly across the tent and land on Trappers side. "Come my trusty feet, we must make ready for the big cheese." He slipped on a pair of clean socks and then the shinny new boots. "I feel the urge to be unhuman already." After he retrieved his hat from within the locker he closes it and places the many dirty magazines back on top, making it as messy as before. "They won't suspect a thing" He then lets out a mad scientists laugh as he pulls the robe back on, making sure that the collar was turned up and hiding the shinny new brass on his neck. The hat is then tucked into his pant pocket, also carefully hid from view. He wasn't going to let anyone know about his little secret unless it was necessary.

Looking at his watch he frowns. "What was I thinking? He won't be here for at least 2 hours and I'm already acting like regular army." Hawkeye looked around before sitting on the edge of his cot, rubbing his hands together and waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

Hawkeye's waiting was interrupted as the loud speaker blared to life. "INCOMING WOUNDED. CHOPPERS AND AMBULANCES BOTH SO GRAB YOUR PARTNER AND GET READY FOR ONE HELL OF A PARTY." With a groan the doctor rose to his feet and headed towards the hospital. "Why can't the party ever be planned?" He mumbled grumpily as he trudged inside, robe still on. 

Inside the hospital was a mad house as enlisted and regular army men and women both ran around trying to get things ready before the wounded began to pour in. The nurses were gowning up and checking supplies while the doctors, minus Hawkeye, helped get the soldiers prepped and ready for surgery.

Pierce watched the madness around him with little concern. The 4077th had the best survival record out of all the MASH and Aid Stations in all of South Korea. So that meant that each and every person knew what to do and when to do it. "We got a good bunch here." He said to himself as a nurse helped him get ready. She removed his robe and helped him scrub up. Next she helped him into his surgical gown, one of many that would be used before the wave of wounded stopped. With a fake smile Hawkeye entered into the operating room and prepared for his first soldier. It all came natural but it wasn't something that he enjoyed. Meatball surgery, as he referred to it, wasn't anything to brag about. They just patched the kids up enough to get them to Seoul or back to the front. "Ok boys and girls. Let us see what the North Korean's have sent us today." Hawkeye stated before he went to work on the soldier in front of him. "Man. He can't be more than 15, I bet he lied about his age to get in on the fun. After all, our parents did teach us to share." He was full of wise ass remarks which was expected of him. He kept morale up and didn't stop for a second to think of the trouble he could get into after ignoring the command of several superior officers to shut up or pipe down. Little did those superior officers know that Hawkeye didn't have to listen to them not because he was a smart ass but because he was the same rank as them.

**Hour and a Half Later**

The number of wounded hadn't been as bad as was reported and they were down to the non-severe cases which could be handled in little time or even by one of the older, more experienced nurses. So this left Hawkeye and Henry free as Frank and Trapper still worked.

Hawkeye leaned against a nearby wall as he yawned. This had to be the shortest round of surgery that any of them performed in all the time that they were stationed in Korean. "Henry, I didn't get to mention this to you earlier but there is a General stopping by." He looked at his watch. "He'll be hear in about half an hour, give or take a few minutes or so."

Henry eyed his head surgeon. "A General. What General?" He blinked in confusion. Usually it was Radar that told him of arriving brass.

"General Martin Hopkins, Henry. He's in charge of most of the Seoul sector now a days. He's real big down there but he used to be a field surgeon in World War 2 so he gives lectures once or twice a year about new techniques."

"That's every nice Pierce but why wasn't it Radar telling me about this. He is the company clerk and local-know-it-all-before-it-happens boy." Henry asked as he began to pulled his blood stained surgical gown off and tossed it into the Landry bin.

"Well. That is a mighty fine question, Henry. You see. The thing is...I met him about 6 months ago when I was on R and R down in Seoul. I caught the end part of his lecture. He isn't here on official business that's why Radar doesn't know about it. His personal assistant Chow Zein stopped by right before we got the wounded and told me about his arrival. I was on my way to tell you when duty called." Hawkeye was beginning to remove his surgical gown also until he caught a glimpse of the brass on his collar in a nearby facet. So he stops and goes back to his leaning.

"This doesn't make sense Pierce. Why would a General just pop in, unofficially. Is he crazy? No one willing comes out here unless they are knocked out or dragged." Henry wasn't buying Hawkeyes story.

Meanwhile in the OR, Trapper was operating on a simple stomach wound when the boy began to hemorrhage and he couldn't get it stopped. His eyes darted to his gas passer which happened to be the head nurse. "Go get Hawkeye and tell him we have a emergency. I need his help if we want this kid to live." He worked frantically trying to get the bleeding stopped while waiting on Hawkeye.

Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan rushed away from the patient and out into the wash room where she breathed a sigh of relief seeing that Hawkeye hadn't retired for the evening. "Captain. Trapper needs you. He got a bad bleeder and can't get it stopped." She pulled a clean surgical gown out of a nearby pile and held it open.

Hawkeye blinked as the Major suddenly appeared. "What? A bleeder? I thought Trap only had minor stomach wound. It should of been a in and out job." He was a little anxious at this point in and time and rather snappy. "Alright. Lead the way." He quickly pulled off his dirty gown and tossed it into the laundry bin and yanks the clean one out of her hands, putting it on himself. His back turned to her and Henry the whole time. "Ok then. Henry, don't panic over this little visitation. Just ask him to join you for a drink and everything should be fine." He began to scrub his hands before drying them and entering the OR where gloves were placed on his hands. "Ok Trap. Let me handle this. You go chase a nurse or something." He stepped up to the place were Trapper once stood and looked down at the wound. "Piece of cake. Walk in the park. Easy as pie." He stated barking out which instruments that he needed to the nurse assisting him which was Margaret. He ignored all the complaining made by Frank as he finally got the bleeding to stop and closed the guy up. "Klinger, anymore out there?" When the black haired, purple dress, Corporal shook his head no, Hawkeye nodded and motioned for the patient to be carried into post-op. "Alright boys and girls. That ends our latest show on how to stop internal bleeding in under a hour." He winks at Margaret as he heads for the doors only to be stopped by the object of his wink.

"What was that about earlier when you told Blake to ask him to join him in a drink and everything will be fine? Who is him?" Margaret was in full military tone at this point in the game.

Hawkeye pushed past her and began to pull his gloves and gown off, tossing both into the laundry bin, forgetting about the shinny things on his collar. "Listen Margaret. No need to get your pants in a uproar. We're just being visited by a General. Nothing to major, Major. Now if you'll excuse me. I have some gin to visit." He turned to face her before he began to speak and never noticed where her eyes were staring.

"What is the meaning of this, Captain. Impersonating a officer could get you 10 years in the stockade" The Major had clearly noticed the new shinny gold maple leaf on his collar.

Hawkeye blinked and then felt like running himself over with a jeep. "I am well aware of that, Major. I know the sentences for almost every single offence know in the Army." With that he turned and marched out of the hospital, ignoring her angry shouts. He really wasn't in a good mood right now.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry was trying his best to entertain the General but was failing miserable. First he spilled a shot of vodka onto the Generals pants and then he insulted his beard on accident. And at this moment he was ready to throw himself in front of spinning chopper blades. "I'm terribly sorry, General. I wasn't informed of your arrival until my way out of the operating room and by Pierce none the less. He's our chief surgeon and one hell of a doctor." Henry rambled out trying to cover up his awkwardness.

General Martin Hopkins just smiled at the nervous man. "No harm done, Colonel. I've had worse spilled on me and I know that your nervous so your little comment about my beard will be over looked. And now since you mentioned Pierce, he's just the man that I'm here to see." He smiled and eyed the Colonel and he couldn't help but notice his confused look. "Is something the matter, Colonel?"

"Wait just a second. You're here to see Pierce? Benjamin Franklin Pierce? The one man that hates big brass more than the mess tents food? Are you sure about that?" Henry was confused to say the least.

"Am I sure about that? Yes, I'm sure. I just wanted to check on him. Ever since he saved my life back in Seoul, I feel debted to him. He is a good man. I just want to make sure that this war hasn't changed that." The General smiles. "You seemed shocked. I thought for sure that he would of mentioned it to you. But I guess he works in mysterious ways."

Hawkeye was in a hurry, trying to lose the Major who seemed to be hell bent on making his life miserable. "Maybe I can hide in Henry's office. Surely she won't follow me in there." He smiled as the doors loomed closer and he ducked inside heading straight for Henry's office.

"You can't go in there Sir" Radar squeaked out as he stood in front of the Colonels office doors. "He has company and would run me up a flag pole if I let anyone interrupt."

"Radar. I need to see Henry about something urgent and besides I got one Major after me that seems to want my hide ran up a flag pole or thrown into the stockade, whichever came first." He pushed the boy aside and entered, shutting the doors and looking out the top windows. "That was close. Henry, you really need to give Major Houlihan some time off. She seems to be out for my blood these days." He says with a chuckle as he turns out. His chuckle and the smile accompanying it faded. "General Hopkins, pleasure to see you again." He held out his hand instead of saluting which would of been the military thing to do.

Colonel Blake rested his head in his hands once he saw and heard Hawkeye. He was sure that his best surgeon would be dragged out in handcuffs before long. But then when Hawkeye offered his hand, Henry's mouth dropped open. He had never seen Pierce be nice to a General without it being a order.

The General smiled and let out a hearty laugh. "I see that you're the same old Hawkeye as in Seoul. I hope things haven't been to rough on you out here." He took the out stretched hand and shook it.

Hawkeye pulled his hand away once the greeting was finished. "No General. Things are fine out here. Not many wounded this week but you don't hear me complaining. I think the change of pace is refreshing." He smiled and then looked to Henry. "You better pick your bottom jaw up, Henry. Before the rats begin to nest inside." He let out a chuckle and shook his head before turning back to the General. "I didn't expect you to actually visit the 4077th. It's nothing like Seoul." He was being sincere with underlying tones of sarcasm.

Hopkins let out another laugh before patting Hawkeye on the shoulder. "You got yourself one fine, Major here. We need more like him in this Army and maybe this war would end a lot quicker."

The Colonel began to nod but stopped. "Major who? Pierce? He isn't a Major. He's a Captain." He gave Pierce a look that could kill. How dare he lie and get him or even the whole 4077th in trouble.

Pierce let out a sigh after Henry spoke. Well here it was. Out in the open. He would have to deal with it now. "Well you see Henry." He points to his collar and the gold oak leaf. "I'm kinda a Major now. I have been since I was promoted."

Henry just stared. "Oh. Ok. As long as you've been one since you were promoted. Hey! Wait a minute! When were you promoted? I wasn't informed of this promotion."

"I promoted him, Colonel. He saved my life and I had to repay him. Taking a bullet isn't something you just buy a drink for and call things even. He deserved the promotion." Stated General Hopkins.

"It was nothing, General. Anyone would of done it. I was just closer and I slipped. Luckily it was towards the bullet and not the floor. I could of been hurt if I'd hit the floor." Hawkeye was being sarcastic again.

"You didn't know about it, Colonel Blake because it came straight from HQ. No time for paper work and I would of made him a General if I could. But he settled for Major. He's very modest." Looking down at his watch the General stood. "I should be going. I was going to spend the night but there are some things that need finished back at the base so I'll be taking my leave." He turned back to Hawkeye. "If you ever need anything, give me a buzz on the squawk box and I'll be here as soon as I can." He turns and marched out of the office and settles into a already prepared jeep with Chow Zein at the wheel. Leaving behind a Colonel wanting answers and a distraught Hawkeye not wanting to give them. Not to mention an angry Major wanting answers of her own.


End file.
